Jason Nelson is interesting

I'm working on a 2009 gift guide. It's taking longer than expected. Explore this site while you wait. Operative word: explore. Lot's of hidden goodies and oddities.

Yet another thing I wish I could do: Beat boxing

I spent a good chunk of day brooding over my skill set. When my spotlight of focus dwindled over the 'vocal-related talents' section of my life, well...there wasn't much to shine a light on. If you saw Ice, Ice, Baby Revisited (below), you already know that god decided singing would not be my calling, and that good looks and charm would have to pull me through these next fifty years or so (by 70, I hope to live someplace where I need no skills and can have them replaced by trustworthy servants who don't resent me because I make them laugh). The point is I can't sing, or hum for that matter. In fact, my friends would probably rather have me scratch the plastic wrap on a brand new dvd than have me hum the tune to, say, the theme from Beverly Hills Cop.

Anyway, as a non-singer, I can say my biggest musical fantasy would be to one day discover I've got the chops of Andrea Bocelli, but sadly this is impossible for obvious reasons involving the laws of physical development and aging. The next best thing, then, would be to fill a non-singing role for one of Bocelli's European tours, i.e. be his personal beat boxer. I browsed the youtubes for a while, gathering tips on circular breathing and proper mouth shape, but finally, as is true with so so many other endeavors, I realized I had no shot and gave up. Such is life.

All is not lost, though. I did find this neat clip that should motivate the aspiring bb'ers (<--just made that up). All I ask is that you pocket dial me in concert when you hit the big time.

Oh, and Merry Christmas!

No airbending necessary

About to go spend some quality time with the sibs, so I'll make this quick. Go see 'Avatar'. It's everything you want for the holidays and more. The photo below is intended to appeal to your deep set love for mech-warriors with bad ass gun-blade-combo-weapons and your deep set hate for any image that spoils a movie this good. Don't worry; nothing's spoiled.

Happy blizzard, and if you're traveling on the east coast tonight, be safe and try to enjoy driving slow (yes, even though it goes against your human nature).

My week, explained with simple logic

---Danger: you will find bathroom talk below---

Universe of Discourse: {unrestricted}

Dx: x has diarrhea

Fx: x is a fart

Hx: x is diarrhea

Nx: x is funny

Px: x is a normal poop
Rx: x has a research paper due

Sx: x is stressed

m: Me (Ezra SG)

1. Rm ⊃ Sm

2. Sm ⊃ Dm

3. Rm

4. (∀x)(Fx ⊃ Nx)

5. (∀x)(Px ⊃ Nx)

6. (∀x)(Hx ⊃ ~Nx)*

----------------------------

7. ∴ Dm

And in English:
1. If I have a research paper, then I am stressed.
2. If I am stressed, then I have diarrhea.
3. I have a research paper.
4. All farts are funny.
5. All normal poops are funny.
6. No diarrheas are funny.*
---------------------
7. Therefore, I have diarrhea; it's not funny

*Talking about diarrhea - funny. Diarrhea itself - never funny.

As Far As the Eye can Pee from AnyaLogic

1000 is so much better than 999

Took over a year, but we finally did it folks. I never thought I'd see the day. We just hit a thousand views if that wasn't clear from the title. Now, let's kick back and enjoy a good memory.

If you're bored, go here.

Copy, paste

I had a huge paper due a while ago. I spent the whole night before partying and oh boy, what a party it was. I woke up the next day and thought, Oh no! What ever will I do? A brilliant idea struck me. Why don't I just copy a professional's work and hand that in? Foolproof. I google searched my topic, and clicked the first link. Wikipedia. Sweet. So much information, already organized by subtopic. Once the article was neatly pasted onto word, I went through and erased all the headings. My essay looked great, but something was missing. Right, my name. I handed it in later that day with a diabolical grin. A month past. After one class, my professor asked me to "hang around".

I was expelled for plagiarism.

-Excerpt from the pitch for the service featured in the facebook ad below.

P.S. Anyone else think his shirt straps have an odd width?

I'm Learning Japanese So I Can Congratulate These Guys

The next two weeks are going to be hell. Between now and 13 days from now, I'll have written somewhere around 10,500 words, read over 300 pages, and sat for 5 hours of exams. Contrary to what you may believe, you should expect to see more posts as I strive to procrastinate "constructively". Also, it snowed, it's sunny, and I could spend the afternoon staring out my window, watching the powder fall off the needles of the evergreens. *Closing the blinds now*