1000 is so much better than 999

Took over a year, but we finally did it folks. I never thought I'd see the day. We just hit a thousand views if that wasn't clear from the title. Now, let's kick back and enjoy a good memory.

If you're bored, go here.

Copy, paste

I had a huge paper due a while ago. I spent the whole night before partying and oh boy, what a party it was. I woke up the next day and thought, Oh no! What ever will I do? A brilliant idea struck me. Why don't I just copy a professional's work and hand that in? Foolproof. I google searched my topic, and clicked the first link. Wikipedia. Sweet. So much information, already organized by subtopic. Once the article was neatly pasted onto word, I went through and erased all the headings. My essay looked great, but something was missing. Right, my name. I handed it in later that day with a diabolical grin. A month past. After one class, my professor asked me to "hang around".

I was expelled for plagiarism.

-Excerpt from the pitch for the service featured in the facebook ad below.

P.S. Anyone else think his shirt straps have an odd width?

I'm Learning Japanese So I Can Congratulate These Guys

The next two weeks are going to be hell. Between now and 13 days from now, I'll have written somewhere around 10,500 words, read over 300 pages, and sat for 5 hours of exams. Contrary to what you may believe, you should expect to see more posts as I strive to procrastinate "constructively". Also, it snowed, it's sunny, and I could spend the afternoon staring out my window, watching the powder fall off the needles of the evergreens. *Closing the blinds now*

Haiku Monday: Quark-Gluon Plasma

Accelerate stuff;

Watch it collide at light speed.

That's how science works.

Photo Credit (Fermilab, near chicago): TheDreamSky

Thanks, Kate

With no insurance, I didn't stand a chance against the tyranny of the mobile phone business. Screen cracks aren't covered by the manufacturer's warranty, after all, so when I walked into the busy Verizon wireless store, I didn't have high hopes. Kate didn't make me feel much better, either, when she told me there was nothing she could do, and that she could pretty much guarantee that even if I waited forty-five minutes to speak with a techie, he would tell me the same thing. So what was I supposed to do?

"Well," she said, "Let me take it into the back and see what I can do." You can laugh at me from behind the one way mirror is what you can do, I thought. I waited five minutes before Kate emerged from the back office and strolled across the store to another hidden nook. Another five minutes and she returned with a small, plain looking box.

You didn't have to give me a courtesy replacement, Kate. You could have shrugged your shoulders in helplessness and sold me a new phone. You could have left me bitter at the sound of 'Verizon', but instead you left me bewildered and disorientated, my faith in humanity invigorated. It's rare when that happens, so thanks. It sounds silly because it's just a phone, but your actions actually represent something far beyond my dependence on technology. As computers take over, I find solace in knowing that I can depend on other people, namely people like you, Kate.

So thanks.

Photo credit: psd

Stump

If you're bored tonight, why not try a new game? It's social, easy to put together, and buckets-o-fun. This is a crash course in stump.

Things you'll need: stump, nails, hammer, booze, people
Preparation
1. Hammer a nail into the stump for each person playing - try to space them out.
2. Have everyone pick out a nail - make sure that two people don't pick the same nail.
3. Make sure everyone has a drink - preferably beer or something mixed.
Execution
1. Hammer passes clockwise around the room.
2. Each person (while still holding their drink) must toss the hammer, catch it, and hit the stump according to the complexity of his/her toss.
3. If your nail gets hit, drink (more if you really get walloped, less if you get glanced).
4. If there are sparks, everyone drinks.
5. If your nail gets buried, finish your drink - you lose. (If you shine a cell phone from one side of the nail and can see the light from the other side, the nail/person is still in.)
6. If you're the last one standing, celebrate - you win.
Toss Values (feel free to come up with house rules - these are what we use)
1 rotation - 1 swing
1 rotation under the leg - 2 swings
1 rotation behind the back - 3 swings
2 rotations - 4 swings
You probably won't see more than two rotations, but you can make up the rest as you go along.
Notes
1. It's more fun to blindly swing as hard as you can than to aim at individual nails. More sparks that way, too.
2. Find a sturdy hammer. We've broken or bent every one we've used so far.
3. Use good judgement regarding location - nobody want's a broken laptop.
4. Nobody wants a broken face either. Employ safety precautions (make sure everyone can toss the hammer straight upwards).
5. Have a good night and enjoy!


*Photo Credit: photohome_uk

I've got the shower.

*dream about a meteor showering* *open eyes* *yawn* *stretch* *lie down* *close eyes* *feel sleep winning out* *will eyelids open* *kick legs out from covers* *slip into slippers* *socks over my socks* *pants, shirt, shirt, sweater, sweater, windbreaker, sneakers, hat* *orange juice* *trudge downstairs* *cold* *clear night* *no moon* *icy road* *leaves crunch* *look up* *THERE'S ONE (1)* *warm welcomes* *tired eyes* *blankets* *flashlights* *minivan* *sleep* *blankets* *flashlights on* *eyes adjust* *blankets down* *flashlights off* *darkness* *cozy up* *stare* *THERE (2)* *wonder* *OVER THERE (3)* *laugh* *LOOK (4)* *feel insignificant* *THIS IS AWESOME (5)* *discuss constellations* *THAT WAS BRIGHT (6)* *follow satellites across the dome of the sky* *SPACE IS COOL (7)* *(8)* *snacks* *(9)* *deep breath* *smell summer camp in the early morning* *(10)* *cold toes* *(11)* *clouds* *wind* *(12)* *feet frozen* *pack up* *minivan* *close eyes* *nod out* *unload* *trudge upstairs* *hat, sneakers, windbreaker, sweater, sweater, shirt, shirt, pants, socks, socks* *hop into bed* *tuck covers under sides (like a burrito)* *drift off with a grin* *worth it*

*Photo Credit: PMcK

Haiku Monday: Meteor Shower

Meteors shower,
With astro-soap, space rain, and
Light years to air dry.

*Meteor shower courtesy of Corey Limmer, professional roommate.

This second wind's a nor'easter

I've been looking forward to this moment for some time. I haven't posted to the blog with any semblance of consistency since August 22. Finally, finally, finally(!), the hiatus comes to an end. Good thing I left a key under the welcome mat. I've got some stories to tell, some websites to share, and some profound thoughts to recount. As the stories go, some happened a while ago, but I'll write about them like they just happened. Besides trying to write often, I'll be working on a new layout with a different host, but unfortunately you can only look forward to seeing it before it's ready.

I expect some well-founded skepticism about this sudden return from the heart-broken fans, but hopefully I can prove once again that Danger: Diversion is worth your daily/weekly/monthly visit. A big thanks to those of you who voiced your distress over the lack of posts; it made me feel great about myself.


*Octopus from MarkWallace

In case you thought I might be dead...

I'm not dead. If over the past few weeks you've grown into a disappointed blog browser, know that I know I've got some reparations to pay.

Happy Halloween.

*Wittle witch from stevechasmar