The week in pictures

I won't be able to write anything today, so instead I offer you a gold mine of diversion. MSNBC has a continuing feature called The Week in Pictures, where they summarize the week in a series of photographs.

Check out a couple weeks worth, and I'm sure you'll bookmark this page. A lot of the pics evoke strong emotional responses, others are truly stunning. Best of all, they do offer a fairly comprehensive look at the week's news, which, if you're short on time, is quite a bit faster than reading a newspaper. Enjoy. (Warning: some of the photos feature graphic images. The site has done a pretty good job of flagging them, but I recommend approaching with caution anyway.)

Ten things that got left behind

Home a day early from Cape Cod, I reflect on the things we left behind.

10. A television remote with a missing battery cover that only works when the batteries are spun while changing channels.

9. A baby dragonfly, stuck between two window panes, avoiding the sentinel spider guarding the only passage to freedom.

8. A plastic shovel, half-buried in sand, forgotten by an overweight child who accidentally ditched it after catching wind of plans to get ice cream after the beach.

7. A rare edition buffalo nickel, worth over fifty dollars, left in a bedside drawer where it was meant to be kept safe until the owner travelled home, and where it was kept safe long after that time passed.

6. A locked bicycle chain, attached to a public bike rack, with the only person knowing its combination long gone.

5. An empty bag of kettle cooked potato chips, apparently bobbing on the surface of a manmade lake, but actually caught on a log which is itself bobbing.

4. Fried clams, dropped underneath a picnic table, soon to be carried away by a band of ambitious ants.

3. A brochure for a $2.00 t-shirt outlet, thrown away out a car window on Route 6.

2. Half a jelly donut, resting on a display counter, stale and crusting from years exposed to the salty air of a bayside coffee shop.

1. The memories of a five year old boy, faded and replaced by action movies and special effects, to be restored fifteen years later on a family trip to the same locale.

Inspired, in part, by the This American Life episode, Plan B.

*Pictures by tipiro and moty66

High tide's a "beach"

Sometimes you're at the beach, promoting your blog, when the ocean crashes your party and erases all your hard work.

'Twas all gone five minutes after that last picture was taken. Apparently, nature brakes for no one.

Five things to look at

I'm exhausted. Here are five things to check out (in no particular order).

5. Running the numbers (for anyone who has ever lived in the United States)

Edit: Suggested by KPG (who by now you're getting to know pretty well)

4. Build an atom (for the chemistry nerds)

3. Sidewalk chalk guy (for the alternatively artistic)

2. Sculptures in motion (for the modern futurists)

1. Transparent screens (for the awe-inspired)

(Good night)

We're under arrest

This happened a couple weeks back but is still worth dramatizing. Details are fictional; the story is pure truth.

Statesville, North Carolina.

The pier was quiet. A group of high schoolers stroll along the boardwalk, one balancing on the railing alongside the rest. A couple sits on a wooden bench, enjoying the sunset and wondering whether the ships on the horizon are coming home or heading out to sea. A teenage boy in a yellow collared shirt leans over the counter of a frozen banana stand, bored from having sold only five bananas in as many hours. A young man in a track jacket stands at the end of the pier, a drawstring backpack hanging off his shoulder. He apprehensively watches two men approaching. The two men walk slowly. One of the men is wearing a blue suede jacket with matching shoes, the other an oversized cotton t-shirt and baggy washed out jeans. The men stop near the banana stand where one makes a phone call. Hanging up with a satisfied look, they continue along the wooden planks.

The track jacket meets the suede and cotton half way along the length of the pier. The suede pulls out a roll of twenty dollars bills. The track jacket strips off the rubber band holding them bound and counts the money. All there. He pulls open the drawstring of his pack and pulls out a brown paper bag. He hands it to the cotton. The cotton looks inside and hands the bag to his companion.

In an instant, the suede reaches inside his jacket, and the track jacket too reaches for his pocket, just when the cotton pulls a pistol out of his jeans waistband. The track jacket freezes, hand still inside his pocket. The cotton motions with his gun for the track jacket to show his hands. The track jacket complies. The suede pulls out a gold badge, indicating he's a detective for the Statesville Police Department. The track jacket smiles and again reaches for his pocket. The cotton, moving quickly, grabs the track jacket's forearm and wraps it around his back, resting his gun at the junction of his spine and skull. The suede thrusts a hand into the track jacket's pocket and pulls out a star-shaped badge. Confusion replaces the attentive looks on suede and cotton's faces. Words are exchanged. The track jacket explains that he's from the sheriff's office. The cotton releases his grip.

Undercover cops arresting each other; tax-payer's dollars well spent. This happened.

*Pier by alan2onion, money roll by zzzack

Cape Cod - Day 1: Happy travels

I won't go into all the reasons why I haven't posted this week, but trust me, they're great ones (*cough* Arrested Development). The good news? I'm done with work until school starts again, which means more time for writing, and more time for doing stuff worth writing about.

Which brings me to my current location: yes, Cape Cod. The family's gotten together for the first time since Thanksgiving and decided, what brings us closer than bike paths, fried clams (after much discussion, I decided clams might have feelings too, so I'll be staying away from those delicious beach dwelling bellies, but don't worry, you hardcore carnivores, my dad has agreed to inhale enough for the both of us), crickets, state parks, and of course, an endless supply of locally (and not so locally) brewed beers? If your family is also looking for some blood bonding, I can say that after two days, the beer works the best. But if you read this morning's post, then you know I've already promised to post every day for the coming week, so let's start with day 1: the drive up.

Friday was my last day of work, and I was lucky enough to spend the afternoon with my best pal Michele, and cap the night with a long walk accompanied by Kevin Patrick Gannon, mentioned in earlier posts as KPG. Needless to say, Friday was a good way to pop the cherry of my virgin vacation. Got home at two. Woke up at seven.

My brother and mom were away looking at colleges, so it was just my dad, Joe, my sister, Hannah, and me making the drive. We got our coffees and were on the road by nine. I took a solid nap and woke up somewhere in Connecticut alongside a gang of shirtless bikers. We pulled over so I could get behind the wheel and clock some hours on the highway. All was good for thirty miles or so... until we hit what would be the start of an epic stretch of bumper-to-bumper traffic. After spending five minutes stopped next to a 50 mph speed limit sign, I switched seats with my sister, switched on my beats, and switched my seat position to recline. Half the Pixies discography, the rest of my stockpiled This American Life, and a stuffed rest stop toilet later, we found ourselves entering Eastham, our final destination. Took us 8.5 hours at an average speed of 33 mph; look out Speed Racer.

We spent the rest of the evening drinking, dining, and laughing. Like the Huxtables...sort of.

P.S. I met Ethan and Valera, collectively known (along with Matt, who I've never met) as proshotfilms, once, at Carlos's. They're great guys and great filmmakers; clearly professionals. Howcast is hosting a "make-your-own-how-to" contest and the prize money is pretty hefty. Vote for these guys' video, and if they win, your life will be that much more fulfilled. If they lose, you'll have already made me feel better about myself, and them better about themselves, which should make you feel better about yourself, too. A win-win-win situation. Click this link, log in with your facebook info, watch and enjoy (optional), click the thumbs up (not optional).

*Clams by Joe Shlabotnik

Haiku Monday: Stay tuned

It's been a long time,

But stay tuned this week, trust me,

New posts everyday

Haiku Monday: Terrible Lizards

Without asteroids

What chance would humans have had

Against dinosaurs?

*Introduction to monstering from WorldIslandInfo.com

CHAINSAW MAID

Today is your lucky day. This is my absolute favorite video in the whole world wide web. Thanks to my uncle for showing this to me a couple years back.

If you have kids, take them out of the room, or risk staying up until the wee hours of the morning because they can't shake the nightmares. If you find you yourself respond to images of violence and gore like an impressionable five year old, you might as well close your browser altogether. I'll try to find a PG clip for you folks next week. Seriously, this is not for the faint of heart.

If I've shown this to you in person, consider yourself one of the fortunate few.

CHAINSAW MAID (It's embarrassing but I couldn't figure out how to embed the video with sound, so for now we'll have to rely on youtube.)

*Maid photo from unusualimage

Haiku Monday: Mondays

They are always tough

To get our week of summer

Well, we hang in there